Where My Life Have Been?

Have you ever looked at your life and wondered, How did I get here? Am I truly living, or just existing? In Where Have I Been All My Life?, Cheryl Rice embarks on a deeply personal journey of self-discovery, grief, and transformation. Through the loss of her mother and the unraveling of her own carefully built identity, Rice invites us to ask:

What happens when the life we’ve built no longer feels like our own?

How do we heal from the loss of those who defined us?

Can we ever truly know ourselves if we’ve spent years trying to meet others' expectations?

This book is more than a memoir—it’s a call to wake up, to reconnect with our authentic selves, and to embrace the messiness of being human.

Here are 10 lessons from Where Have I Been All My Life?:

1. Grief is Not Just About Losing Someone—It’s About Losing Yourself

When Rice lost her mother, she realized she had also lost the person who shaped much of her identity. Grief isn’t just about missing someone; it’s about figuring out who you are without them.

2. We Wear Masks to Fit In, But They Can Become Our Prisons

For years, Rice played the role of the “good daughter,” the “successful professional,” and the “perfect wife.” But beneath those roles, she felt lost. If we define ourselves by others' expectations, we risk forgetting who we truly are.

3. Healing Begins When We Stop Avoiding Pain

Rice tried to keep busy and avoid facing her grief, but it only deepened her suffering. The only way to heal is to feel—to sit with our emotions instead of running from them.

4. Self-Compassion is Harder Than Self-Criticism—But It’s Necessary

Like many of us, Rice was her own harshest critic. Learning to be kind to ourselves, to treat ourselves with the same gentleness we offer others, is a radical act of self-love.

5. Vulnerability is the Bridge to Authentic Connection

For much of her life, Rice kept her struggles private. But when she finally opened up, she discovered that true connection happens when we allow ourselves to be seen, imperfections and all.

6. Busyness is Not the Same as Fulfillment

Rice’s packed schedule gave her a sense of control, but it also kept her from confronting the emptiness she felt inside. Doing more doesn’t mean living more. Sometimes, slowing down is the real work.

7. We Must Give Ourselves Permission to Change

Just because we’ve been a certain way for years doesn’t mean we’re stuck that way. We have the right to evolve, to rewrite our stories, and to become who we were meant to be.

8. Happiness Isn’t a Destination—It’s a Practice

Rice learned that joy doesn’t come from external achievements but from small, everyday choices—choosing gratitude, choosing connection, choosing presence.

9. Our Relationship with Ourselves Shapes Every Other Relationship

The way we treat ourselves determines how we interact with the world. When we heal our inner wounds, we show up more fully in our relationships, careers, and communities.

10. Finding Yourself is Not About Reinventing—It’s About Remembering

Rice’s journey wasn’t about becoming someone new—it was about rediscovering the person she had always been underneath the layers of expectations, grief, and fear. The real you has been there all along—you just have to come home to yourself.

Where Have I Been All My Life? is a powerful reminder that self-discovery is not a one-time event but an ongoing journey. Life’s hardships can break us, or they can wake us up. Through grief, self-reflection, and courage, Cheryl Rice shows us that it’s never too late to reclaim our lives, our dreams, and our true selves.

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